Showing posts with label my feeling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my feeling. Show all posts

Sunday, July 10, 2011

New changes, New Life


Woo~~ hoo~~~

I am still black and purple colours lover~~~

Just I need something really bright to enlighten my life~~~


SO, NEW CHANGES, NEW LIFE!!!


Thanks for the reading!!!!


Sunday, May 1, 2011

Wonderful Sunday

Sometimes, satisfaction archived just because of having a simple life of the day.

The easy as me to meet my satisfaction.

1. A nice sleep for the night before.
2. Wake up naturally without any wake up call or alarm..
3. Have a freshness bath...
4. Have a nice meal for lunch..




5. A brief sleep after lunch
6. Read a nice book together with a cup of tea, pieces of cookies and soft music as background..of course, with the nice weather, not too cloudy or too hot.... =)




7. Noodles as dinner cooked by myself...




8. Having a fun talk with my girls through the phone
9. Blogging
10. Read book and turn to bed to say GOOD NIGHT to everyone~



Aren't these just a simple life to make us happy after working like a cow whole week??? =)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

--

Dear readers,
I am away from my home now.
Not able to blog for few days~~

Please be patient to wait my coming Food blog~~
Eat a lot at Penang~
fuyoh~

Sunday, July 25, 2010

雨

窗外正下着细雨。
拉开许久关闭着的窗帘,推开遗忘的那一扇窗,
窗外的世界如此的旷阔,景色因为下雨而那么的美,因为雷声的点缀,而苍凉的感觉,是我遗忘多时的感觉。
推开窗的那一刹那,我好像回到念学士那几年的生活。
一段永远不能忘得掉的过去。
雨天陪我度过了不少甜酸苦辣的时光。
甜的时候,我在雨中与一群战友练着排球,要不,和朋友骑着电单车淋雨吃喝玩乐。
酸、苦、辣时,我在雨中尽情地放声大哭,让雨水陪我一起哭泣,要不,就坐在窗旁听着雨滴的声音,伴随着车辆来往的声音与响雷声,那使我平静不少。
当然,淋雨时还是蛮害怕打雷闪电啦!=)

不管怎样,今天的雨让我好怀念~

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

一路好走




Ying Ying,
我还来不及回家见你,你就去天国玩了吗?
我还打算买你最喜欢的食物回去给你吃呢!
为什么不等我?
还记得那个骨头饼干吗?
我打算买好多好多,每天喂你吃呢?
我还没回到家!

Ying Ying,
别玩了,你快起来,等我回去!我回去的时候想看到你。
我还想和你捉迷藏,赛跑,帮你冲凉,还有和你一起躺在沙发上看电视。
和你想相处的时间只有这么短,你起来好不好?我还想陪你好久好久~

Ying Ying,
你在天国会比较好玩吗?
不要这样,你起来好不好?别睡了!睡太多不好!



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

晓莉

好开心哦!我顺利进到大学了呢!而且是我梦想中的大学,马大。 进入第九宿舍的第一个星期,最早认识的就是我现在的好友,晓莉。一开始,我还记得,我们在迎新周进了同一组。除了另一个朋友,我们混得最熟,可能是因为都是外文系学生的关系吧!

迎新周后,我们很常一起走路上下课,当然,我还是会逃课的。记得我第一次去谷中城,还是和她一起去的。我们两个就实行路在嘴上,到处问人,终于我们到了那里。哈哈。。。想起来那时我们真大胆。

当时,我们和健辉还蛮要好的。哈哈。。。记得晓莉说,一开始他并不喜欢健辉的。因为她觉得他很大牌,还要我大费周章去买食物回来给他吃。想起来那时真的还蛮好笑的。呵呵!

和晓莉熟了以后,我就常去她的房间找她,我们常一起在房间里读书,哈哈。。每次都是他坐在书桌前,而我躺在她的床上。结果是,我睡着了,她仍在拼命的啃书。而我们最后就在同一张床上睡觉喽!有时,读着读着就饿了,她最常吃的就是泡面了,那韩国泡面是我们的最爱。读到闷时,我们就会开始谈天,讲枕边话兼讲别人的坏话。哈哈。。。那段日子真得很美好。

晓莉很勤劳,是个不会逃课的好学生,不像我随时随地都想着如何逃课。后来我有电单车时,我就载她一起上下课。不过我逃课时,她就难免要走路喽!每次我们上八点的课,她都是我的人肉闹钟呢!还好有她来叫我起床,要不我还真的睡不醒呢! 谢谢你!晓莉!

他有个不好的地方就是胃口比小鸟更小! 而且挑食!宿舍的食物,除了早餐,其它一概不吃!他老是说,吃了早餐,午餐就吃不下,只能吃晚餐;而吃了午餐后,就吃不下晚餐了,因为还没消化。你说吧!合理吗?简直想打她!

我还去过他家呢!她的父母对我很好哦! 常常做东西给我们吃。我记得他妈妈做的一品锅和肉卷真得好好吃哦!在她的家,每天都可以吃到新鲜的海鲜哦, 真的很幸福!

后来我们上了大学二年级,她搬出宿舍了,我们也不常见面,因为我记得当时每个星期五, 她都去姐姐那儿了。有时想找她吃个饭都难。当时真的蛮不高兴的。 后来,我才慢慢调试心情。到了第二年的第二个学期,我们才比较常见面,甚至还可以一起吃晚餐呢!当时真的很开心呢! 有时我也会在她的家过夜,真的很爽!又可以和她谈天了。

眨眼我们升上大三了。最后一年的日子了,当时我决定搬出来了。我们找到了一间屋子,一起住下了。当时,我们真的很高兴,因为我们始终可以一起住了,距离拉进了不少。我们又可以常见面了。不用每次跑来跑去,找她吃饭了。

可惜,也许是我想得太简单了,没想到我们现在更难在一起吃一顿饭了,要找她一起吃饭,要与她谈天真得很难,她太忙了。而且很多时候,她都与姐姐一起煮饭吃。每次约她都很失望,久了、习惯了,我们也不再约她、不在意了,而她也不懂得如何约我们一起出去。现在,简直没有一起同桌好好吃顿饭了。这种感觉真得很不好受!为何同住在一间屋子里,沟通的时间少了、距离反而更远了呢?

从这一段开始是距离接近一年后,才又开始写的。而且我们已经毕业了。晓莉已经找到一份蛮好的工作了。而我呢?现在,终于找到一份我比较满意的工作了。在我搬出来时,前后两三个月都没有联络。老实说,我自己都难以理解为什么。

虽然现在我们见面没办法像大一时,那么有时间谈天,可是感觉还是很自然。偶尔联络,是我们现在的相处方法。大家都明白对方,那就足够了。谢谢你,晓莉!三年来谢谢你的陪伴!

哈哈,距离上一段是两年前的事了,现在的我正在忙着我的master thesis,而他呢,忙着她的ACCA。我们还是一样少见面,但是久不久都回电话联络一下,再加上,她搬得蛮远的呢~ 不管怎样这个朋友是我一辈子不会忘的~

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

6 years, 8 champions and FESENI Choir SIX years in a row

2005 - FESENI Choir Champion
2006 - FESENI Choir Champion
2007 - FESENI Choir Champion
- IPT Malaysia Champion
- MYOF Champion and 3rd Place
2008 - FESENI Choir Champion
2009 - FESENI Choir Champion
2010 - FESENI Choir Champion

6 years, 8 champions.
We did it!
Six years in a row for FESENI choir competition.
I am so glad that I am here with them to enjoy the joyful moment.
It's a miracle for us also when we started to get the champion since 2005.
From nothing to champion.
I am not the one suppose to say this, but i still want to say that it's really hard for us!
I know the qualities of sound is still dropping.
But, one thing you should understand!
Every year we train different team. The team is called 9th college choir team but the members keep changing every year.
We have to train the newbies from 0% to 150% (Since ES said that the quality will drop to 100 % because nervousness, mic problem etc when perform on the stage)
How we maintain the qualities of voice if every year need to train new members?
We cannot learn new thing, cannot learn advance thing etc.
We have no time to do all that.
Almost the time we spent is teach all the new members from basic technique like breathing, mouth sharp, hearing, tempo etc.

This year 2009/2010, we used around 8 months to form this team.
8 months, such a long time, right?
But, nope! It's really not enough for us to be more advance group or professional group.

From audition to select members until train them to sing, it needs a lot of time and energy.
Some more, discipline is really needed to the team.
Can you imagine if you keep repeating same thing during every single practices just because some members absent previous practice?
Without discipline, how to move to next level?
That's why we have the rules in our choir team.

We hope that all of you won't regret after competition.
We hope that you all can learn all the techniques and sing nicely on the stage.
We hope that you all can archive the goal which win the audiences' heart.

Frankly speaking, I hope that we can get 1st placing, why not? Since we are really put so many effort in this choir team?
We spent so much times to learn singing technique.
We spent so much times to learn the songs.
I don't know how other colleges train their members. But, we must be the team who always "torture" our members.
But, if not because of that, you thought we have the chance to win the champion 6 years in a row?
That is what deserve to have!!!!

We are deserve to get the champion!
We have best arranger to arrange the songs for us.
We have best trainers to teach us the singing techniques.
We have best seniors who always assist and correct us if sing wrongly.
We have best teammates to sing together.
We have best management team every year to manage the team discipline.
We have best supporter who support us always.
We have best competitor who always make us have the spirit to fight with them!!!

9th college choir is the best!!!
That is what I can say to all my members!!!

Sweet and bitter moment in the choir team 2009/2010 is a memorable history now.
Everything is over~~

HOPE YOU ALL WILL REMEMBER ALWAYS WHAT WE TAUGHT IN THE CHOIR NO ONLY THE SINGING TECHNIQUE BUT THE ATTITUDE





Monday, February 8, 2010

Finally

Finally I made the decision.
I have been thinking it for whole week.
Anyway, finally I made it.
Finally I passed the letter to Team Manager.

I am so sorry!
I feel guilty when I explain to Joshua.
They treat me really nice actually.

huh..It's difficult to say good-bye to them.

May be the management is not that good, anyhow, I still enjoy the working life here.
Compare with my previous job, this job giving me more empowerment to handle customer inquiries and also more freedom to do things.

Of course, cannot deny that the management here is totally failed if compare with my previous job.

*sigh*

Okaylah~~
I believe I choose the correct way!!!
Go Go Go ShiaoTan.


Sing a song to my dearest colleagues:
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
Good-Bye sweet heart, well, it's time to go.
I have to leave you, but I really must say:
Good-Bye sweet heart Good-Bye~~

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My decision

Applied my Annual Leave at 6th January 2010 for CNY,
Until today, my leave still not approve yet. Heng!!
Okay... I wait!

Anyway, as my promise before at my previous blog,
I will tell you all that what is my decision.

My decision is...
1st option:
If my Annual Leave is rejected, then I will resign before CNY.
Then, go back hometown to rest from 12 to the end of February.

2nd option:
If my leave is approved, I work until the end of February. Then, only i throw resignation letter.

hehe...
The conclusion is..
I DEFINITELY will resign to focus on my Master thesis (just started for 5%...far far far left behind schedule. haih..).

The difference is ONLY resign before CNY or after CNY..

hehe....

Monday, January 25, 2010

下一个决定

一直,我都在转变,一份新的工作,让我的生活从书、音乐、合唱团离开到进入电脑网络的世界。
一份我从没想过我会踏进的领域的工作。
这份工作对我来说还是有值得留恋的地方,
我很开心,在这里我遇到很多不一样的朋友,不一样的性格,不一样的思想。
甚至,不同的同事都有自己的人生背景,
这些想法,这些领悟是两年前刚踏出社会的我领会不到。

我处于的世界,从没有不务正业的人,甚至没有玩电脑游戏玩到废寝忘食、天昏地暗的人。
我处于的世界,可以说是环绕我身边的朋友们,都不是会浪费青春的人。
可是在这里,我见识到了。
一些前一天告诉你,他很喜欢这份工的人,可是第二天玩失踪,然后告诉你,不想来不是不来咯!
一些玩电脑玩通宵,不务正业,然后第二天睡不醒来做工的也有。
常常要拿Emergency Leave也有很多,甚至有些生气Team Lead,然后赌气不来做工的也有。

这些不负责任的人处于的世界都是我不能理解、不熟悉的世界。

我不能理解为什么他们不能负起他们应做的责任?为什么他们要活在那种颓废的世界里?

最让我难以接受的是有一部份人之中,是包括华人的!
我以身为华人而自豪,可是,现在我替他们感到羞耻!
唉~

我的世界是一个担得起责任的世界,
我的世界里有的是负责任的人,
我的世界里有的是做事妥当的人,
我的世界是有纪律的,
我的世界是多姿多彩的和有意义的,不会花时间在无趣、无聊的事上。
我的世界了解时间是宝贵的,我们把每一分、每一秒都花得值得、不浪费!
我的世界是可以一起承担责任、痛苦、伤心和快乐的,而不是自私的人。
我的世界是大量的,不是只会指责的别人而不检讨自己的人的世界。
我的世界是美好的,我坚信着!

因为我坚信这一点,所以我才能获得快乐和幸福!

我是天秤座的, 我希望我的世界是完美的。
我知道不可能,可是我相信我得到的世界,对我来说已是最好的了!
我的要求不多,只是希望能处在和平的世界里,不要有丑恶的人就可以了。

不是我不成熟,而是它是一个愿望,一个希翼,一个让我坚持梦想的动力。

其实,每当我写关于我工作的点滴时,那代表有些东西让我很不开心,让我失望了,
接着很快的,我会有新的决定了。
而我相信我的决定只会让我活得更好、更能接近我的目标!

不要后悔、一直朝着梦想前进!!

我的决定下次才分晓... =)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas Caroling

CHOIR IS MY LIFE!!

Wait for so many years,
this year we got the chances to join the Christmas caroling.

It is a new challenge since most of us are "zero" experience to join the caroling.

Since November,
we start our practice to learn for around 20 songs.

Of course,
most of the songs we recognize it before.

But, recognize it doesn't mean that we know how to sing the note correctly.

Some more,
we are train for singing patriotic song but not this kind of songs.

This is really challenge for us,
we are too woody when singing Christmas song. haha...

Anyway, we do enjoy the caroling.

Wait, let me post some photos...


Our 1st time perform at Times Square - 29/11/2009

Our performance at One World as below:







hahaha...you know, I like ss and always ss-ing~~ =)


hahaha...we took photo with Fatimah NG and Cockeyed CHIA

It's really funny!!! hahahahaha...
______________________________________



Warming up~~Position, please!!




Segar Band from Rawang - SMK SERI GARING

I'm so happy to know you guys and perform together with you all.
You all are so impress me~~
I really hope to know you all more.

Anyway, you all will always in my heart, deeply~


haha...Sampat gong and Sampat po~~
___________________________________________




Our last day performance at Times Square (before performance)
___________________________________







On the stage
__________________________________________











Thank you for giving me the best memories i ever had at 2009!!!

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

这么多年的愿望终于实现了,
我记得在我大学一年级的时候,
我们就又说过,有一天我们要唱Caroling,
5年后的今天,我们实现了诺言,
或许某些成员没办法出席,
但,我们还是成功了。

所以说没有什么事是做不到的,只是时间问题。
我很庆辛,我选了一条正确的路,
留在这里。
我好想念家,好想念家人,
但是,我一直挣扎着,就为了今天,
终于愿望愿望实现了。

可以回了吧?
哈哈··· 还是不行也!我的硕士论文未写完,毕不了业呢!
写完它,又是一年后的事···

其实,我又开始挣扎了···
我的心在摇摆,我想回家,可是在这里有不同的人事物,
可以说我的好朋友、我的最爱和最多的回忆都在这里。
回去砂拉越,对,我一样有朋友,
只是,我找不到我的乐趣,我最爱的XUM team 不在那儿···

参加了6年的choir,会随着我回家的决定,而被我埋葬···
当然,XUM team还存在,
只是,随着我的离开,它对我而言,只是一个回忆,不再是我可以追随的目标。

我记得我说过:choir 是我的生命。
没有它,我不知我怎么可以在这里生存6年。
我相信,如果不是choir,在3年前,一毕业,我应该收一收包袱回家去了~~

其实,我真的很感恩,上帝为我选了一条我一辈子都不会后悔的路!
谢谢你!
不管将来我选择什么路,至少,回忆一样伴随着我!


Friday, October 16, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KUNG SHIAO TAN!!! (Part 1)

1:27am 16/10/2009
In front of my laptop
What am I doing?
doing same thing as yesterday, nothing special.
facebook-ing, fishing, farming etc.
oh ya, today is different, I blogging. :p

Quite boring, right? I think so.
Anyway, my birthday is not pass yet.
Tonight will celebrate with 2 groups of best friends.
From 6pm to 12am 17/10/2009, i think, at least. :)
kakakaka.....can't close my mouth....keep smiling....:)

But, think about it, 25 years old.
you know! It's 25, I am 25 years old!!!
Goodness!!
Half of my life is gone.

This is my birthday blog part 1.
Gonna post some photos later with my birthday celebration.
I am looking forward of it.
hehe....

Thanks for the wishes 1st!!!

See you at my birthday blog part 2....

Bye...gonna sleep lo...

may be do a mask 1st before I sleep.. :p

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Nick Vujicic的话语

刚看完Nick Vujicic的短片。
给了我很大的启发。
不是所有人都像他一样勇敢。
但是,人可以创造奇迹。


有几句他说的话是我觉得是非常值得深思的:

If you try to follow what your friends do just because you don't want to be left out, you start losing yourself, you start to put your security in temporary things, you start to put your happiness in things that will not last!!

2. I will try 100 times to get up and if I fail in 100 times, if I fail and I give up, do you think am I going to get up? NO! If I fail, i try again and again and again, it's only I try so that has a chance to get up. It's not the end if you try to get up. There are still a hope.

3. When people put you down, you start to believe the lie around you saying that you are not good enough, you are not good enough and no one going to want you, you never ever do anything good in your life, you never ever archive the dreams you wish to have that but which you could do. If you close to the voice saying that you are not good enough, you are not good enough. You will need one more step to fall. You have a choice, see which step you going to take today.

4. I don't care how you are, you are just awesome just the way you are. So many teenagers who look themselves at the mirror and wish they have a different body. Girls, you beautiful just the way you are. You are gorgeous, you are gorgeous! I love you just the way you are!

不要放弃,只要一直尝试,一定能成功!
不要迷失自己,做真正的自己。
只有真正的自己才最迷人。


共勉之...

Watch this video from youtube:
1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnT9vIX048E&feature=related
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTVGbwlAoqo&feature=related
3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2m68D-hXvw&feature=fvw

Friday, August 28, 2009

私人空间



私人空间,一个属于自己的地方。
好喜欢那张床。
下雨天,开着窗,风扇在转,播放悠悠的音乐,手里再拿着一本书,依在靠近天花板的上铺,看看窗外的雨景,享受着悠闲的一天。心情特好吧?
微乱的下床铺,乱成一团的被,透视我随性的性格。对吧?
一个挂满衣和围巾的衣架,说整齐又谈不上,也算随性吧?呵...



大热天时,绝对不能少了它,我可不想一边看书,一边满身大汗呢!



简单的摆设,但是都是充满回忆的宝贝。看看啊...有什么...和好友一起拍的毕业合照,一只毕了业的狮子,一个PYPY家庭的杯子,几张充满回忆的相片,一个特大纪念杯。



看起来蛮有文化气息的书柜。这里是一小部分,一些在床底的箱子里睡着觉,一些搭飞机去了马来西亚的另一端,婆罗洲了。还有一小部分的笔记、课本和字典。通常都是摆美的,没在翻。
哈!忍不住要冷讥一声,不知自己原有平静的生活哪去了。怎么整天往外跑了呢?原有的生活不是更充实吗?在家翻翻书,听听歌,睡个觉,不是更悠闲自在吗?何苦往外自找苦吃呢?

嗯!无聊吧?是蛮无聊的,我想我是疯了,才会废话连篇!原谅我!我只是想找回失去的过去、找回失去的自我、找回往日的自由。

我想我是累了......

Friday, August 14, 2009

不愿生活再也只是围绕着你们打转!

想了很久,朋友有几个?
知心的有几个,点头之交有几个?
可以分享心事的有几个?只能谈笑的有几个?
在身边的有几个?在远处的有几个?
愿意听你埋怨的有几个?愿意向你埋怨又有几个?

发现朋友越来越少,是自找的吧?
以为自己很好,其实在别人眼中只不过是小丑。
以为自己待人亲切,其实是只人人都怕的母老虎。
以为朋友多得数不清,其实是在逃避,不敢数。
以为生活多姿多彩,其实
只是围绕着你们打转!

我不想了,我不要了,我拒绝!
我要过我自己的生活!

你们走吧!

我走了!

Monday, August 10, 2009

无语

今早开了一封Phoebe的电邮,其实我早知是那种诅咒的信件,我早知他每次都寄这种邮件,我还是决定打开它,然后我祷告,告诉我亲爱的主说:“主啊!你要用你大能的手来坚定我的思想,也求你帮助这些受魔鬼影响的人,让他们醒悟!” 然后,就像以往一样,我删除了那封电邮。可以想见,我的思想有多么的坚定,我相信主会保护我。

但是,在收到 es 的messenger时,我突然犹疑一下,是不是报应来得如此快、如此突然?

主啊!原谅我!我相信你一直在我身边帮助着我。这一扇门关了,你会为我开另一扇窗。

希望今天发生的事件也一样。

今天es 通知我说:“
i wan to tell u guys, i can't go Melaka dy. dat day my company got system go live, so i can't go.”

这个突如其来的消息,我呆了,过了大概20分钟,我才问他:“confirm already??”

他又说:“Yes. Good Luck. Today confirm.”

我真的无语了。敷衍的应了一声“哦”,就不知该讲什么了。

他又接着说:“i will not be attending any rehearsal anymore from today onwards, no use to go practice oso dy.”

是这样的吗?我可不可以要求你回来帮忙呢?我不敢问,怕那问题又丢回来给我,我不懂的回答。

一次又一次,我的信心总是被人打击。

我的心是肉做的,有血有泪。

我不是在怪es,而是我埋怨把所有的事都推给我的人。

我知道,那是我下的决定,把它揽上身。但是,我以为我们会合作,至少我知道有人陪我一起做 ,轻松很多。但结果呢?什么问题来了,都只会是在我身上,都只是把矛头指向我。

我知道我的日子过得很悠闲,好像没有烦恼。但其实,我有!只是你们不知道!我有多少私事是你们知道的?你们又有多了解我? 

在与es的conversation后的几个小时,又和Jennifer谈话,那时,我崩溃了!哭得死去活来,几乎晕倒。 当时,他给我一个强烈的信息是:有人在骗我,他要在我无助时离这个团队而去。他给的原因不是原因。为什么要骗我?是不是在你心里,我永远还是你的junior,不能知道真正的原因?

其实你明明就经历过我所经历的一切,为什么你还要抛弃我、抛弃这个团队?

你明明可以设身处地的想到现在的我有多么的痛苦!还是,你希望我经历与你一样的经历?


明明知道我在他们一直说要quit时,我有多伤心,为什么你还要在我伤口上撒盐?他们不会觉得有什么,但我不同,我是ORGANISER!多好听的名称啊!就因为这个名称,我就必须被孤立吗?还是被弄得里外不是人吗?

这么多年,为什么我在团队里老是被说是两头蛇?我很想大家都坦坦白白的说话,但是两边却不这么做,而我老是在传话!最后,惹得自己一身腥。其实,我也很心甘情愿,两边不讨好不要紧,看看最后大家还是团结一起,最后大家还是上了台,拿到想要的,我就很满足,所有事,我也忘了。只记得倒数下一次再聚在一起练习的时候。想起那些发生的不愉快,也觉得是一个甜蜜的过程。

这一次,我也好想抛开一切!好想放开!只是因为诚信,那沉重的包袱,我没敢放手!我也不想失去大家对我的期望,所以我硬是把它扛起来!其实,只要大家合作,我就会乐意扛下去,不管多久。真的!不管多久!这并不难,不是吗?我真的很容易满足。我只是希望大家与我走的路是同一个方向,同一个脚步,同一个阶段,因为我们是一个团队。

知道为何昨天我那么伤心吗?我伤心,因为所有我觉得会帮助我的人,却在开会的时候,全跑掉了,出去外面开自己的会议。我觉得好像两边都不是我的团队。我一个人在孤军作战。他们让我觉得我只是一座桥梁。而在房里的人,只会把我推出去,看着我先沉溺,看着我如何在水里挣扎,看着我如何从沼泽里挣脱而出。我看着应该与我并肩坐战的人,我指望它会帮我开口,但他却静静的不出声,我知道一个道理,人是为了自己而活,你的生死与他人无关。对吧?

两边的思想,我都觉得好陌生。看着外面比我大的,再看看里面比我小的,我不知他们是不是在说我做得不对、是不是在说我没资格?我老是在胡思乱想。但是不由得我不想!

还有,那些永远有忙不完的事情的人,要开心唱我懂,每个人都有工作,我也懂,但是,既然你自己的思想答应了,你是不是应该尽你的责任呢?在尽你责任同时,大家都会很开心的唱歌,那也达到了"sing for fun"的宗旨,不是吗?

就是因为知道大家有工作,我们才选择最不忙的一天,星期日来练习。大家都同意的日子,不是吗?那是不是应该把那个时间空下来呢?而不是永远在那时间碰巧有忙不完的事。 

经历了这么多年,我们rules and regulations 不是应该可以背得滚瓜烂熟了吗?

知道现在的我怎么坚持吗? 我只能靠着想象来坚持我所该做的事。

我只能想像着,5/9我们在台上开心的唱着歌,想象着我们唱完后,又多么满足,多么开心。

也只有那个想像力,能让我不倒下!让我坚持告诉你们我不会说退出这个词!

主啊!现在的我,真的需要靠你来宁静我的心灵,靠你来洗净我的思想,丢掉所有不愉快,丢掉所有忧虑!愿主的圣灵与我同在,阿门!


Friday, April 17, 2009

Miss her..

Thinking of her again...
How many times for today??
10 or 15 times??
How often I miss her today??
every second when I have nothing to do??
I am really miss her..

How many days we never contact each other??
1 month? or 2 months??
after CNY, right?
I wrote message in my cell phone,
but delete it every time when I tried to send it out.
I have no courage to send it out.
I just can share everything with her in my heart, deeply...

I hope to share my happiness and sadness with her.
Let her know that:
my choir got champion 5 years in a row;
I had a wonderful trip at Batu Pahat;
I went to Umaiya eat bufffet;
I almost finish my 2nd semester in UM;
I was sad when my bro and sister kept argueing;
I was sad when my bro took my 2 cute nieces to go Solomon;
............

I share everything with her since we met again at secondary school,
since we became the best friend in the world..
that is no way for me to turn back, is it?
that is no way for me to win her back, is it?


I am really really miss her!!
absolutely miss her!!

I wanna cry...
the eyes just too dry..
no tears comes out..

my heart feels pain,
is it cry inside??

Can I just forget her?
Can I just look forward??

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Victory again!!

"Tempat pertama Pertanding Koir 2009 jatuh kepada......

KOLEJ KEDIAMAN KESEM.......*a.....,yeah.....,BILAN...."

Oh my god!!! Thanks god!!!

9th college choir past achievement counted start from my 1st year in UM until now.
5 years champion in a row for FESENI,
Champion in National Level,
Champion again at MYOF.
Won UKM, UTM, UPSI, KCC...
We did it!!
Is that true?? I can't believe it!!

The competitions are just like happened yesterday.
But,
5 years?
1825 days??
43800 hours?
2628000 minutes???
that long??
Oh my goodness!!
I'm 24 going to 25 years old!!!
ar....................!!!

Don't want to believe that....
Mandy, GH, CC, Terence, Ash finished their job in our choir already.
They are retire soon...
The new team will build again without them next semester.
*sob sob

Every year doing same thing.
Train people to get an A+ result,
then,
someone leaving...
rebuild again at the next year..
train to get an A+ result,
someone leaving again....
Every year we force to start from zero.
That is really tiring job!
Not easy...
*sigh...

May be we just form a team at outside better??
How about XUM??
Make it happen!!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

It's real me

以前的我,我会觉得极度的愤怒,当我得知某人在讲我的是非。
现在的我,我会觉得一切自有定数,我的主会引领他们的脚步,让他们知道事实的真相!

以前的我,遇到问题时,老是想逃避,最好把自己埋起来,那就不用面对了!
现在的我,遇到问题时,会想应该怎么解决,甚至相信踏出第一步并没有想象中困难。

以前的我,生气时,完全不会控制脾气,不爽就骂人,摆脸色给人看。
现在的我,生气时,还会告诉自己别用言语伤害人,让自己冷却下来。

以前的我,一看到朋友有难,就把包袱往自己身上扛,完全不考虑自己的有限能力。
现在的我,看到朋友有难,会想想自己的能力,然后想其它的方法来帮助朋友。

以上的我,都是证明着,我渐渐的长大了,渐渐懂得思考,变成熟了。

以前的我,是个乐天派,高兴时就哈哈大笑,不高兴就放声大哭。
现在的我,多愁善感,有点悲观了。

以前的我,比较容易和朋友打成一片。
现在的我,对朋友总是会有一些防备之心。

以前的我,脑子里存在很多浪漫的思想。
现在的我,浪漫所剩无几,有的是对现实的无奈。

以前的我,朋友是第一位,家人第二位。
现在的我,家人第一位,自己第二位。

以上的我,证明我变了,失去了我的赤子之心,有的城市人市侩与现实。


长大,一个让你又爱又恨,又无法避免的人生。
难怪人说人生如戏,每一段都变化多端,高潮迭起,让人又哭又笑。
这是人生,我选择接受。
那...你呢?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Be Punctual, Okay!!!!

要求准时,真的是一种奢望吗?
要求
准时,就不对吗?
我的要求很低,不是要你们很
准时。
只是希望不要让我一个人等半小时之久。
一个人呆坐在那里,真得很奇怪也!
我不明白!
你说,做工嘛!有时候赶不回来。
好! 赶不回来,通知一声总可以吧?
你说,你不用做工嘛!当然快啦!
喂!我做工时,我也可以
准时呢!
至少,如果我不能
准时到,会通知咯!
帮个忙!自己理亏就不要大声了啦!
我有义务要等吗?!!